Six Common Single Parent Struggles

Six Common Single Parent Struggles

If there's a single group of people who are
underappreciated more than any other group of people, it
has to be single parents. While everyone knows being a
parent is hard, being a single parent tends to be even
harder. Not only do you have to play the roles of both
parents, but you're financially responsible for a set of
bills that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are six of
the most common single parent struggles with tips and
strategies on how to overcome them.

1. The Financial Challenges. When you have two people
paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a month, it doesn't
seem like that big of a deal. However, when one person is
responsible for that kind of monthly payment, it becomes a
big deal indeed. If you're having a hard time making your
monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a smaller home,
or if that's not possible, refinance over a longer period
of time (or at a lower interest rate, if possible).

Make sure you do what you can to cut your other monthly
expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop the sales at your
local grocery store, get an all-in-one phone, cable and
high-speed Internet plan and try shopping Goodwill stores
for your household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't
just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new items to
the Goodwill center and you can get some really helpful
household items for very little money. Even inexpensive
computers for young children can be found there.

2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single parents are at
the mercy of the childcare opportunities available in their
area. No one wants to leave her child in a childcare center
that is anything but the best. The problem is that the best
is also usually the most expensive. Call the different
childcare centers in your area and compare charges and
services offered. Ask each one for references and check to
see if there are any financial assistance opportunities
available like reduced price lunches.

3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single parent may have a
hard time teaching her sons about the things a dad would
normally cover and a single father may have a hard time
discussing female issues with his daughters. If there isn't
a parental figure for your child to discuss gender-related
issues with, you should enlist the help of a favorite aunt
or uncle or a close family friend to act as a "surrogate
parent" for your child. It may be easier for your child to
open up to this other significant adult.

4. The World On Your Shoulders. When there's only one
parent in the household, all of the family responsibilities
lay on that person's shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking
meals, keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an
eye on the kids and all of the other parental
responsibilities are the sole responsibility of that
parent. It's easy to see that every single parent needs a
break every so often. Make sure you take a break to revive
yourself and re-energize. Even if it's just sending the
kids to a sitter for a few hours, take that time to catch
up on your reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to
soothing music.

5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single parents find
themselves feeling isolated at one point or another. They
don't really relate to singles without children because
single parents have an entirely different set of priorities
and responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a bit
lonely and you want to communicate with people who can
relate to what you're going through, look into joining a
nearby support group for single parents. Besides just
chatting with other adults and exchanging thoughts and
ideas, you may meet a new friend and enlarge your social
circle.

6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are Dating. Having
an array of boyfriends or girlfriends running in and out of
your child's life isn't good for anyone. Many single
parents are confused as to when a significant other should
be introduced to your child. While it's never good to hide
a growing relationship from your child, watch that they
don't become emotionally involved with someone you're
dating unless you really think the relationship is going
somewhere. At that time you can plan outings together and
involve the child in the relationship on a deeper level.
You don't want to run the risk of your child getting hurt
should they become attached to a person you're dating and
the relationship doesn't work out. Sometimes it happens,
but try to minimize the revolving door.

It is said that if a child has one stable adult in their
lives who they can depend on, they will be ok. You can be
that person for your child.

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Karen Fusco is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which
supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to
meet the challenges of motherhood. SilkBow is the perfect
place for the perfect gift. Karen can be reached directly
at: karen@SilkBow.com